what do you call a zombie that runs really fast
so when i got home today i kicked my shoes off right away
Dad: didn’t you wear shoes to school today?
me: nope, i’m a hobbit
Dad: huh. that’s a very bad hobbit you know
What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed?
I’VE JUST COME TO THE HORRIBLE REALIZATION THAT HANNIBAL POOPS PEOPLE
"you’re shitting me"
"i will be soon"
it got better
someone brought a birthday cake to my math class and we didnt have napkins or plates so we used scantrons
looks like this test was
a piece of cake
Sperm bank tho #sperm #bank #spermbank #pun #punny #funny #piggybank